bought a record player.

finally did it.

why

I didn't even try. Oh 16-year-old Maren. I may have hated it. I don't quite think I would have become France's prima ballerina. But I didn't even try.

People say they live without regret.

I am not one of those people.

I can't lie: I love the Air Academy Senior Class of '11. Like, love them. They're my favorite.

Melissa brought me Whole Foods Daisies yesterday. Holy gorgeous flowers, batman.

Today I have a nectarine, a vintage-looking mustard colored jacket and a job. I have a typewriter coming my way, the perfect girl to give my Tom's to, a huge picture of a llama on the front of my notebook and a meeting with the bosses. I'm not going to lose my job. Today I have a caramel macciato and scones that only cost me .26 after my gift card. I found $20 yesterday.

I have my grandpa's old house key that looks like just like a Tiffany's key. And it actually means something.

There are many good things in life today. I'm thankful. It's been a bit of a hellish last two weeks... I'm a gifts person. And Jesus has sure put some tangible gifts in my life. I'm thankful.

Regroup

Time to regroup.

Time to start working my brains to death- again.

Time to stop being sick.

Time for lattes, my new CDs and the hundreds of emails I've received over the last two days.

Time to start breathing again. When I can.

In the last two-ish weeks...

-My grandpa died. I don't even know what to think.

-My roommate moved out and got married. I had a blast at the wedding.

-I liked a boy for about 24 hours and then realized that every other girl and their mom likes him, too. Curse. So I stopped liking him.

-A good thing: Britta is giving me a typewriter. That makes my heart jump with happy. And I miss Britta.

-I'm so tired it hurts. I couldn't sleep last night, save for half-hour intervals. I actually slept on the couch for the first time because I was so miserable in my room.

-My schedule got totally screwed due to a day off, and a trip to Oregon for a funeral and all that other crap.

-I am really sick. It hurts to keep my eyes open.

-I'm just sad.

-I miss my YL girls like hell.

-I don't know how I'm going to make it through this week.

-I have about 120 pages of text book to read before Thursday. yipes.

-I miss Beth.

-I want to cry.

I am the following:

-Back in Colorado Springs

-Unbelieving that it's only Wednesday because this has been one of the longest weeks in recent memory

-Utterly exhausted

-Trying to stay focused and failing somewhat

-Dying to go home and GO TO BED

-Fighting off a stress/ exhaustion/ sugar-overload migraine

-Misspelling words. That doesn't happen. Something is wrong.

-Forgetting simple words

-... and mostly just being tired. really, really tired

I told my roommates last night that if I receive a typewriter for my birthday, I'll start writing a book.

That's a tall order. But I'll do it.

Britta- if you're reading this, I love you. I always will.