Therefore, that is why I blog, amongst other reasons.
To get back today- today is Thursday. It's almost 10 and I've been watching You Tube videos for about the last hour. I've been watching the hilarious ones. They've made me cry in laughter.
I can't believe that summer's almost over. My summer means time away from Young Life and what feels like the more serious aspects of my job. I've had a lot of time off this summer.
This week has been a curse on wheels. I saw married-ex boyfriend Tuesday after a year of not seeing him... He walked two feet in front of me and "ignored" me. Call me a priss, but I'm distinctive. It's not like you can look at me and not know it's me. And somehow, God helped me shove the bile of words that were inching up my throat back down to hell where they belonged.
That man doesn't deserve an ounce of my time or a single word from a mouth that desires to be a spring of holy water.
Then yesterday, my boss and I had to fire one of my freelancers. The guy left me four voice mails, four emails, told me I was "royally screwed up," but that he still wants to talk. Yep, that's not happening. But oh man. The things I could have said to this guy.
It was certainly a week of keeping things quiet.
I talked to my YL girls about it last night- how sometimes self control is the "guts to NOT do something."
Truly, I can't take credit for any of this. But I'm glad He's permeated, and will continue to, that dark part of my soul where bitterness spews from horrible memories and even the memories of yesterday.
This week has been bonkers-busy. I'm so glad it's Thursday. I have meetings almost all day tomorrow. Meetings aren't bad. They get me out of the office and they make me happy. Meeting new people is my favorite part of the job.
Mmmk. So I wrote long ago, on my mirror with mirror crayons, that when I got into grad school (which I did :D :D :D :D :D ) that I'd buy myself a tiffany's necklace. Here it is. :
okay, the post isn't working. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. But it's beautiful. And $400. ha.
Can't quite grasp how I'm going to afford it. Hmm. But I want to wear it on the first day of school. Ah, school. What a strange concept. Didn't think I'd go back- ever. I guess it's pretty clear that life changes. It changes fast. I change. I like that I change.
Guess it's time to start saving like crazy. Sigh. There goes my clothes budget. I'm going to cut my weekly spendings in half. Buying cheap wedding gifts. Being content with the stuff that I have. Waiting for my birthday before I buy a turn table to play my records or a steamer for my curtains and my work pants to give them perfect creases.
When I was little, I think I figured life would be a teeny bit difficult. Well, it's not just a teeny bit. It's a huge bit. And I never thought it'd be expensive. But if this is where I'm supposed to go, then who am I to second guess it? Why do I freak out about the money? No, that's not okay.
THIS MEANS I HAVE TO CUT MY COFFEE BUDGET. Holy cow. I don't know how that's going to go. Oh yikes.
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