waking up

It's almost 5 in the morning. This is absurd. Why am I blogging?

Maybe because I think someone out there is listening.

Last night he made it very clear that I am no longer a priority.

He doesn't want me. I think one of the worst parts is waking up and remembering. Saying, "Oh my gosh. Yeah, that really happened." Crying.

Woke up about 30 minutes ago with what looks like the start of a nasty hangover.

My eyes still hurt from crying. Now that's a big deal.

One day I look forward to blogging about a guy that sticks around for more than what's convenient for him.

Until then... I'll write about how much I like electrical storms and how it feels when fall's coming around. I'll divulge my joys of being with my YL-ers like Britta. Talk about Mel and Jo. Talk about work and all the other stuff from my day-to-day and try to make it interesting.

Holy cow. I'm crying again. I hope this is the hangover doing the crying.

I like myself. I like that I feel things so deep that I can almost touch them. I like that I love with this intensity that I can't deny and that I feel in every inch of my body.

I like that. But not today.