I would love nothing more than to escape to the mountains which are a mere ten minutes from my office. I'd love to escape myself, to escape the difficult parts of the last two weeks. Because wow. The heart hurts in places I didn't know existed.
I ache for the jump I make into relationships and the hurt that is inevitably caused on both sides.
I cried for probably 4 or 5 hours yesterday. I didn't sleep last night.
Honesty is a brutal thing. And even if you beg God's mercy, there's not always something you can do to "fix" things. That breaks me. It's a raw, messy and sad place to be. So I lift it up. That's all I can do. I'm not going to cry again. I've decided. I might change my mind soon. But staining my face with mascara was not on the to-do list today. Those things are never on the to-do list.
I'm so tired I could cry again. Exhaustion sure messes with your brain.
My car is officially totaled. I miss it already. That car sure had a lot of accidents. Maybe it just wasn't supposed to be mine. I have no idea and no explanations. Ugh. The whole thing freaking HURTS. Not just the car. The last two weeks.
Reading Colossians. Praying that over myself and those in my life.
I feel like someone put out their cigarette on my heart. I'm tired of scars.
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